HEY GUYS!!!!!!!! whats up whats up!?! not much here.. chillen.. so i just got off the phone with nicki! and we of course were talkin bout school, how its starting soon as HELL! "are you nervous" seems to be the question everyone is askin.. no i am not nervous! lol silly ppl.. i just dont want to go! plus.. i was such a btich last year, that i lost SOOOO many friends, cause of all the damn drama.. and well.. susan, chels, kaylyn, manda, AND maddi AND brit! and freaking THOMAS AND DEVIN!!! :( arent even goin to bhs... so it SUCKS! its jus.. me and nicki! but yea.. i gotta go get my schedule and all that good shit! haha i forgot like, EVERY class i took, i just remember that theyre HARD! but nichole told me some classes i took.. haha humanities.. child dev. sports marketing(thats fun!!!) and er... i cant member what else she said.. and yea, course i have math and english... but yea lol i kinda like the whole.. busy feeling.. so im glad ill have school, i wont have time for ANYTHING! not for ANY of you! muahaha ;D ok ok... ill be chillen home 24-7 lol im excited tho... i getta get MORE clothes.. and shoes! so.. family.. we're all doing good.. course all the lil kids are! jeb stayed here all weekend, we had hella fun.. hes so cute! bronson comes on saturday *jumps up n down* im SOOOOOOOOOO fuckin excited! u dont even know! theres only 2 peopled oin bad.. james.. he got a DUI for marijuana.. got his car impounded.. and he has a 3,000 dollar fine! so.. hes planning on moving up here with us soon.. pat, well.. hes just silly.. i know hes not happy with his life, i dunno why he does the hsit he does (yes i have done many of the same shit, but ive changed.. ) what i dont get is.. he knows he needs to change, and he wants to.. and knows he can.. but doesnt? so.. ive heard of this letter he wrote.. while he was on cocaine for 2 days straight.. and he hadnt slept.. it was written on a bunch of envelops.. and it was to his future kids.. and how he wishes he could change so bad, and talks about how he did porn.. and how he just felt like shit the whole time.. and it just gives u a bad feeling... then it says how he wishes he wouldnt have gotten danni pregnant, because then she had the abortion.. and he feels responsible for killing his baby..(when he didnt want her to have an abortion) then.. it talks bout how he wishes he wouldnt have dropped out of highschool.. and like everytime in the letter when he cant spell something he puts "i dunno how to spell it.. because i didnt finish highschool" and he jus... talks about how he hates his life.. it just makes me sad.. :( cuz pats like one of the coolest people ever.. and would do anything for anyone.. pecially us girls.. and im so afraid ill just get a call sayin hes dead.. i use to have the biggest fear of that with zack.. but thats gotten better, he doesnt do as MUCH stupid shit.. but yea.. so joshua... wow when i talk to him its like.. my heart gets all... happy and warm :) hes one of the most perfect ppl i have ever met... if i could just go there.. and stay there... i would.. right now.. id leave everything for him.. i love him so much!.. wowie! but i seriously.. when i talk to him... i just.. get speechless:\ i dont know why... lol AHHHHHHHH i love joshuaaaaaaaaa! lol.. imma go there next summer... and be there for a while... and just.. be with him :) then... right when i graduate.. i just wanna go live with him.. and marry him.. n have his kids.. haha i love joshua lewis shepherd more than anything :p k well.. im gonna go.. i love you all so so so so so much!!!!!!!!!!!!! muah! dest/brook